在我心中的那個秘密花園

在閱讀這篇文章前，清理你從前對親密關係之於你的意義，所存在於腦中的信仰、觀念、意見或期望，以讓自己能進入意念與意識架構的關係之中。

我們必須從一個新的覺知之中來開始，直到現在，親密關係一向被放在浪漫的範疇之中，我們傾向於視之為浪漫的伴侶關係。

但它擁有我們與每一個人、情勢、事物之間的連結，要真正了解親密關係 我們必須從我們與生命中每樣事物的關係中談起。

在開始之前，首先、最重要的、唯一有意義的關係 便是我們與自己的關係。

Before reading this article, clear your mind of any previous beliefs, notions, opinions or expectations of what relationship means to you because in order to enter the paradigm of intentional and conscious relationships, we must begin from a new perspective. Until now, relationships have been placed in the domain of romance and we tend to look at them in the context of romantic partnerships but they encompass every connection that we have with every person, situation and thing in our lives. To really understand relationships, we must begin with understanding that we have a relationship with everything in our lives. And to begin at the beginning, our first, most important and the only meaningful relationship we can ever have is the one we have with ourselves.

親密關係中有施與受，也就是我們與他人分享的以及他人與我們分享的。
我們傾向於從「我們所得到的」視角來看待關係，但親密關係確實始於我們自身 始於我們給出甚麼，我們能量場中的一切在關係中會反射回到我們自身。

並且這段關係啟始於我們自身的療癒與業力過程，然而人們會視之為複雜與混淆的，但當我們問對了問題，那麼每一段關係便會揭露資訊的寶庫，指出這段關係的真正目的以及我們需要在其中療癒什麼，以得到圓滿、生命價值、以及我們所想要的自我肯定的的關係。

所有我們從關係中想要擁有的喜悅、平靜、愛與豐盛都可以是我們的，只要我們能從與自己的關係中看待親密關係，只要我們能視親密關係為帶來療癒的禮物。

There is a give and take to relationships, what we share with others and what they share with us. And we tend to look at this from the perspective of what we receive but they actually start with us, with what we give. All of our energy is reflected back to us in the relationships we have and that begins with us and our healing and karmic purposes. While they may seem complicated and confusing, when we ask the ‘right’ questions every relationship can reveal a treasure trove of information about our purpose and what we need to heal within ourselves to have the fulfilling, life and self affirming relationships that we want to have. All of the joy, peace, love and abundance that we want from our relationships can be ours when we view our relationships from the context of ourselves and the healing gifts they have for us.

我們生命中每一個外在的關係。

那些我們與人們、與情勢、與生命本身的關係，都是一面面鏡子 反照著我們與自身的關係。因此，隨著我們走著人生的旅途，我們一直不虞那些鏡子，反照著我們內在與我執和靈性的連結。

如果不先「與內在連結」以及「與內在神性自我連結」，我們不可能去談關係的本質。

若我們不先與內在連結便要去看那些生命中的關係，我們會很容易踏入罪咎情結中，因為我們與真正的肇因、天性、關係的目的切斷連繫，它們正發掘著我們是誰，以及我們的療癒之徑和我們身、腦、心、靈通往整體的旅程。

Every external relationship we have in our life, which are the ones we have with people and situations and indeed, with life itself, is a mirror of our internal relationship with ourselves. So as we go through the journey of life we are provided with a mirror of our internal connection with our ego and spirit. It is not possible to explain the nature of relationship without making the connection to self and to Self. If we try to look at our relationship life without first making the internal connection, we can easily step into victimhood because we are disconnected from the true cause, nature and purpose of relationship, which is discovering who we are and our healing path and our journey to wholeness in body, mind, emotions and Spirit.

什麼是我們與自己的關係呢?

我們如何視自己為生命的關鍵呢?

我們喜歡自己嗎?

這些問題要不是我們最後才會自問的，不然就是從來沒想到過，然而這是我們在談論親密關係時，唯一的關鍵問題。

因為它們能幫助我們瞭解所有的親密關係之中發生了甚麼，並且為我們所擁有的關係形態定調，我們越有意願深入內在去回答這些問題，我們所有的親密關係便越能成功。

What is our relationship with ourselves? How do we think of ourselves in the context of our life? Do we like ourselves? These are either the last questions we ask or we never think of asking them and yet they are the only questions that matter when we talk about relationships because they are the ones that will help us understand what is happening within all of our relationships and also determine the kinds of relationships we will have. The farther we are willing to go within ourselves to answer our relationship questions, the more success we will have with all of our relationships.

但我們太常看外在的發生了，以至於當那些發生不是我們所想像與期待時，我們便認為我們之間有甚麼不對了。於是我們試著要調整情勢或調整對方，要改變他們與他們的能量，以讓他們用不一樣的方式回應我們。

但這是本末倒置，因為他們之於我們，尚不如我們之於自己。或者說，他們只是反照著我們回返自身的能量而已。若我們想要有不同的結果，必須從肇始之因開始那永遠都是「自己」。

But too often we look at what is happening outside of ourselves, to our relationships with life, with others and within different situations and when they are not what we think or wish they were, we think that something is wrong with us. Then we try to fix the situation or person, change them and their energy, in the hope that they will respond to us differently. But that is putting ‘the cart before the horse’ so to speak because they cannot be more to us than we are to ourselves. In other words, they are only mirroring our energy back to us. If we want a different outcome we have to start with the cause, which is always us.

我們嘗試所有的方法想要讓某人以不同的眼光看我們，想要讓某人去愛、榮耀、與尊重我們，我們這麼做只是浪費自己的時間與能量。

我們能做的就是視他們為他們所是，視他們為我們自己能量狀態的鏡子
然後改變自己能量的表達。於是他們有自己的選擇----轉變，以與我們擴展的意識層級相遇，或者離開我們，讓其他人取而代之。

但這常常是我們卡住的地方，我們總想要保住親密關係，以報償我們在關係中所花費的時間、情感與努力。我們所尋求的報償是感恩、承諾與愛，但那似乎是從不會物質化的報償。相反地，我們被拒絕、遺棄、或者接受了所有事物，就是沒有我們要的愛。

我們到底有甚麼問題呢? 沒有

那麼別人有甚麼問題呢? 也沒有

他們只是在做他們應該做的，那只反照我們的能量回到自己身上，若我們不愛、不榮耀、不尊重自己，那麼他們也不會如此。

How can we get someone to see us differently, to love, honor and respect us when we have already tried everything? We don’t and doing so is a waste of our time and energy. What we can do is view them as what they are, the mirror of our energy, and change what we are expressing energetically. Then they have a choice, to shift and meet us at our expanded level of consciousness or move away and allow someone else to take their place. And there’s where we get stuck because we want to hold onto our relationships, to be rewarded for the time, emotion, and effort that we put into them. The reward we seek is gratitude, commitment and love but it’s a reward that doesn’t materialize. Instead, we may be rejected, abandoned and receive anything but the love we seek. What is wrong with us? Nothing. What is wrong with the other person? Nothing, they are just doing what they are supposed to do, which is to mirror our energy back to us. And if we don’t love, honor and respect ourselves, they won’t either.

當我們從關係中企求某些東西的時候，我們便把自己的療癒責任放在別人身上。
於是當結果不是我們所預期之時，我們便進入怨憤與受害的意識之中。此時，我們必須自問一個痛苦的問題----什麼是我們的目的？

因為我們在關係中都有目的，那是我們從對方身上想得到的。我們不這麼看自己
，因為我都會說我們想要最好的給別人，但我們真的也想要從別人那兒得到最好的。這沒有問題，只要我們能對這件事誠實。

When we expect something from our relationships we are putting the responsibility for our healing on someone or something else. Then we move into resentment and victim consciousness, when the results are not what we expected. Now we must ask ourselves a painful question, what was our agenda? Because we all have agendas in relationships, which are the things we want and expect from them. We don’t see ourselves like this because we say we want the best for others but we really want the best for ourselves. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we’re honest about it.

每一段關係都在成全我們對於療癒的需求，因為那是我們生命的首要目的。

並且我們因為某種能量層面的目的和他人產生「關聯」，雖然那不一定是我們情感上的目的，但卻因情感的需求而起。但能量層面的療癒與轉化需求，是我們選擇那特定之人與特定情勢的原因，不論這有多麼的不浪漫，我們都會成全那樣的內在聲音。

Every relationship serves our need for healing because that is our primary life purpose and we ‘relate’ to others with that as an energetic purpose, although it may not be our emotional purpose, which is to have our emotional needs met. But the energetic healing and transformation needs are why we choose that particular person or situation, no matter how unromantic or self serving that sounds.

隨著我們更為靈性成長，我們便更能瞭解自己的療癒之路。

並因而擁抱那些踏入我們世界的人們，以讓我們更接近整體。那些人是我們的老師，他們引導我們進入強而有力的課程中，這些課程總會以某種方式讓我們受益，不論這段關係的挑戰與痛苦多大。

當我們選擇想要如何與他人關連之時，從內在去平衡自己，並且停駐落實自己的渴望在整體之中，我們將會在完全不同的光燦之中看著自己的親密關係。

As we become more spiritually mature we are able to acknowledge our healing and embrace those who step into our sphere to bring us closer to wholeness. These are our teachers and they introduce us to powerful lessons whose purpose always benefits us in some way, no matter how challenging or painful the relationship is. When we choose how we want to relate to others, balance ourselves from within and stay grounded in our desire for wholeness, we see relationships in an entirely different light.

於是我們可以為親密關係設定意圖，而這裡面的確會有個療癒的目的。我們覺知它，並且我們知道自己，是這個療癒旅程意識的一部份。

我們完全覺知到甚麼是自己需要的，並以聚焦且直接的方式運用自己的能量。那就是運用親密關係帶領我們更接近整體，以這一點來看，我們知道自己將擁有所渴望的情感滿足。

因此我們不會那麼努力地想去創造它，它便不費力地來到眼前，在那樣的關係之中包裹著愛、榮耀、承諾與喜悅。沒有不符期望的業力與創傷，也沒有努力要滿足他人需求，而他人也以滿足我們來回應的業力與創傷。

Then we can set intentions for our relationships and while there will be a healing purpose, we are aware of it and are a conscious part of the healing journey, fully aware of what we need and use our energy in focused and directed ways that use our relationships to bring us closer to wholeness. At this point we know we will have the emotional fulfillment we crave so we don’t work so hard to create it and it comes to us, effortlessly, wrapped within relationships that give us the love, honor, commitment and joy that we want without the drama and trauma of unmet expectations and the hard work of trying to meet someone else’s needs so they will respond by meeting ours.

The Path of Relationship

October 2011 Monthly Message
烏瑞爾天使長透過Jennifer Hoffman傳訊
文章出處 http://www.urielheals.com/Messages.html

田安琪翻譯 歡迎轉載 http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/humanangel-humanangel/

資料引用於： http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/humanangel-humanangel/article?mid=4646&page=0#4648